成都：这不是你想的那种辣

We're finally here. I was already thinking about this place on the plane.

The Chengdu panda base. Look at the one on the left, the one with the biggest black eye patches.

I see it. Will it come over?

It won't come over for you. It's eating bamboo.

I know pandas eat bamboo. But I thought once people arrived, it would at least look once.

Visitors watch pandas. Pandas watch bamboo. Both sides are busy.

Should I take my phone out now?

Take it out. First watch what it's doing, then decide what to photograph.

It's eating. Eating very seriously. I'm standing here, and it seems not to know.

It knows there are people outside. It just doesn't think it needs to stop.

The photo I imagined was the panda lifting its head and looking at the camera.

Those photos exist. Usually it just happens to lift its head. It's not coming in to work.

So the “hello” I was waiting for might not come.

It might not. Pandas spend a lot of time eating, then they sleep. You arrived while it's busy.

Its job is eating?

For it, yes. For you, it feels a bit like it refuses to perform.

I'm a little unhappy. And a little like this is more real.

Are you still taking the photo?

Yes.

I'll just take it eating bamboo.

Later, if someone asks me about Chengdu pandas, I'll say: it didn't look at me. It was eating.

It lay down.

One round of eating, then rest. A lot of days at the base go like that.

I used to think of the panda as a gift. Now it feels more like an animal that lives here.

A gift is for you. An animal needs to eat. Let's go. Your second postcard is still on the table.

So this is Chengdu hotpot? It already looks very spicy.

Red only tells you there are chilies, maybe Sichuan pepper too. What your mouth feels, you know after you eat.

My friends said coming to Chengdu means proving you can eat spicy food.

Who are you proving it to?

To them. And to myself. I'm afraid I can't eat it. I'm more afraid other people will think I can't.

Then eat a normal bite first. Don't order “the spiciest” yet. “The spiciest” is a story, not a taste.

Okay. I'll listen to you. But if it's not spicy enough, I'll say so.

Fine.

After this bite, tell me what happened in your mouth.

Don't start with winning or losing.

Very spicy. But spicy wasn't the first thing.

What came first?

My mouth went quiet for a moment.

Like someone turned the sound off, then on again.

Then it got spicy.

And something else I can't quite say. A bit like lemon, and not like lemon.

That feeling is called má. The later part is the spicy. A bit like lemon is usually Sichuan pepper.

Sichuan pepper isn't chili?

They're not the same thing.

Chili is spicy.

Sichuan pepper is má.

Chengdu hotpot puts them in the same pot, so you think you're only eating spicy food.

I prepared a contest with spicy. The contest hadn't started, and my mouth already wouldn't listen.

Do you still want it spicier?

No.

If it's spicier, I'll just keep talking to the spicy part.

I want to figure out, in this bite, which part is má and which part is spicy.

That's a bit harder than “I can eat it.”

And a bit more interesting.

When the panda doesn't look at me, I can only look at it.

When the hotpot makes my mouth numb, I can only listen to my mouth.

Both things refuse to follow your original plan.

Yes.

But I still got the panda and the hotpot.

Just the way I got them isn't what I imagined on the plane.

I won't tell my friends I beat Chengdu hotpot.

Then what will you say?

I'll say the panda was eating.

The hotpot made my mouth numb first.

Both are famous. Both don't work the way I imagined.

Sounds like you still like them.

I do. I even want to eat again tomorrow. Tomorrow isn't for more spicy. It's to recognize má again.

Then you take today's Chengdu with you.

Taken. The photo is in my phone. The má is still in my mouth.

The clearest pair of words today is má and spicy. They can be in the same bite, and they are not the same thing.

Pandas and visitors are a pair too. Visitors come to watch pandas. Pandas keep eating bamboo.

Next time you go somewhere famous, will you wait for it to perform, or watch what it's already doing?